Tattoos are forever, so when you ink, so do carefully
By Kelly Hockenberry, Columnist, The Times
I have been threatening to write an article about tattoos for months.
Truth is, I’m a chicken. I know that people with “ink” take it VERY seriously…and, let’s face it, most of them could easily kick my butt.
HOWEVER, in the true spirit of free speech, I feel that it is my duty as a fashion columnist to speak my mind.
So, here it goes…
(I’m actually squeezing my eyes shut as if readying myself for a blow to the belly)
I do not find tattoos attractive on women.
There, I said it!
Call me sexist, I know! Usually, I am a hairy armpit (not really) feminist. Anything boys can do, girls can do better! EXCEPT tattoos.
Maybe it is not so much the tattoo itself but the PLACEMENT that bothers me. If, as a woman, you decide to get one on an area of the body only seen by a significant other, I guess “no harm, no foul”.
I still don’t really understand it (perhaps because I change the color of my nail polish three times a week, and therefore, can’t fathom injecting dye under my skin of an image I need to commit to for the REST OF MY LIFE…but, that’s obviously MY issue to work on).
I mean, you may REALLY like unicorns when you are 19. But, will the unicorn jumping over the rainbow on your left flank look that attractive two decades later?
Ummmmmm, no.
I guess it’s my age, but, I find myself wincing when I look at beautiful girls with visible tattoos thinking “but, how will they cover that hideous thing in a wedding gown?”
I’m sure that many will vehemently disagree, but, there is no way to appear “classy” in a beautiful dress and gorgeous stilettos with the picture of a snake wound around your ankle. The two do not jive.
I’ve been busting on women, but, men are not entirely off the hook …
EXHIBIT “A”:
Editor’s note: This is actually exhibit B. Kelly sent us a truly horrifying picture of a local gentleman ordering coffee at Dunkin Donuts. As Kelly was out of the country in Utah on vacation (yes, that was a joke, please don’t write in) at the time of publication, we substituted a somewhat-less lawsuit inspiring shot. But trust us, it was horrifying in a “People of WalMart” way. Close your eyes for a moment and imagine it. Nope, it was worse than that. We now return you to your regularly scheduled column, already in progress.
They say a picture is worth a thousand words.
And that, my friends, is so very, very true.
Happy Weekend!
