{"id":4428,"date":"2012-07-29T06:00:04","date_gmt":"2012-07-29T10:00:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kennetttimes.com\/?p=4428"},"modified":"2012-07-28T13:27:19","modified_gmt":"2012-07-28T17:27:19","slug":"lifes-a-beach-if-you-follow-a-few-rules","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kennetttimes.com\/?p=4428","title":{"rendered":"Life&#8217;s a beach&#8230;if you follow a few rules"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: medium;\"><em><strong>A few simple rules to make that day down the shore more enjoyable<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;\"><strong>By Kelly Hockenberry<\/strong>, <span style=\"font-size: x-small;\"><em>Columnist, The Times<\/em><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/kennetttimes.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/07\/UTKellyColumn3.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright  wp-image-4430\" style=\"margin: 4px;\" title=\"UTKellyColumn\" src=\"http:\/\/kennetttimes.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/07\/UTKellyColumn3-250x300.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"175\" height=\"210\" srcset=\"https:\/\/kennetttimes.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/07\/UTKellyColumn3-250x300.jpg 250w, https:\/\/kennetttimes.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/07\/UTKellyColumn3.jpg 400w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 175px) 100vw, 175px\" \/><\/a>My latest list\u2026because, you know how much I LOVE making a list\u2026<\/p>\n<p><strong>BEACH ETIQUETTE:<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>NO SMOKING!<\/strong>\u00a0 I understand that technically the beach is \u201coutside\u201d (whatever) but what inevitably happens is that some large, hairy man decides to plop down his chair and light a cigar directly downwind of where we have set up camp.\u00a0 Gone is the beautiful salt air smell.\u00a0 Thanks, dude.\u00a0 SUPER annoying.\u00a0 In addition, I thoroughly enjoy watching women with a cigarette dangling precariously out of their mouth screaming for Johnny to \u201ccome over and get sprayed with sunscreen!!\u201d\u00a0 Never mind the second hand smoke, lady!\u00a0 Slather poor Johnny up.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Wearing sneakers on the beach = yucky<\/strong>.\u00a0 I\u2019m not referring to those individuals who choose to jog, I\u2019m talking about people who wear them in lieu of flip-flops. \u00a0It literally makes me clench my teeth.\u00a0 The thought of putting wet, sandy feet into sneakers is unfathomable.\u00a0 I would rather risk a third degree burn from the scorching sand than wear sneakers. \u00a0(Not to mention that Old Navy sells flip-flops for 99 cents.)<!--more--><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Feeding the Seagulls. <\/strong>\u00a0People who do this purposefully should be strung up and publicly flogged, in my opinion.\u00a0 Seagulls are essentially dirty flying rats.\u00a0 Gross.\u00a0 And, getting a picture of your child feeding them popcorn stops being cute when they peck their eyes out.\u00a0 So, don\u2019t say I didn\u2019t warn you.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Frolicking in the Surf<\/strong>.\u00a0 One of my favorite pastimes is to sit on the beach and read a magazine.\u00a0 And, if it is blazing hot, I will (occasionally) saunter down to the surf to feel the water.\u00a0 If I am TOTALLY crazy and the temperature is hovering around 105 degrees, I may even venture out to ankle depth.\u00a0 What I do not appreciate is when children come charging into the freezing cold ocean spraying up water in their wake. \u00a0Ummmm, I have trouble enough trying to keep my hair from frizzing with the humidity.\u00a0 Jeez.\u00a0 You have to walk at the pool!\u00a0 Can\u2019t the same rules apply?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u00a0Shaking the sand from a towel<\/strong>.\u00a0 This is a tricky one, I know.\u00a0 It is nearly impossible not to kick up a small amount of sand when you go to retrieve your towel.\u00a0 However, it is common courtesy not to snap it like a matador waving a red flag at a bull.\u00a0 I swear, people wait until right as you are biting into a sandwich to do it, too.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Location, location, location<\/strong>.\u00a0 Obviously, the prime spot if you have children is to sit close to the lifeguard.\u00a0 But, how irritating is it when the beach is WIDE OPEN and deserted, yet, people plop down eight inches away with their 14 kids, pop-up tent (that will blow over at least 10 times) and carry-on luggage.\u00a0 It\u2019s a big beach, people.\u00a0 Let\u2019s respect the concept of \u201cpersonal space\u201d.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>WHEW! I feel better!<\/p>\n<p>Who\u2019s picking me up for a day at the beach?<\/p>\n<p>Anyone?\u00a0 Anyone?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A few simple rules to make that day down the shore more enjoyable By Kelly Hockenberry, Columnist, The Times My latest list\u2026because, you know how much I LOVE making a list\u2026 BEACH ETIQUETTE: NO SMOKING!\u00a0 I understand that technically the beach is \u201coutside\u201d (whatever) but what inevitably happens is that some large, hairy man decides [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4430,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,4],"tags":[689,943,944,945],"class_list":["post-4428","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle","category-featured","tag-beach","tag-ocean","tag-rules","tag-shore"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kennetttimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4428","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kennetttimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kennetttimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kennetttimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kennetttimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4428"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/kennetttimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4428\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kennetttimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/4430"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kennetttimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4428"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kennetttimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4428"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kennetttimes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4428"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}